From the Archives: May 12, 2010
Oh that’s right – no need for descriptions here. I’m guessing you are already well acquainted with her. Some of us know her better than others, but shall I be bold enough to say, “She’s probably one of our oldest friends, more like a frenemy. She’s no longer my constant companion but I must admit she shows up more often than I’d like. How close is she to you? What does she mean to you? Is she invited into your inner circle or is she only invited to the big events in your life? Let’s be honest with each other, “What kind of frenemy has she been to you all these years?”
I don’t need to tell you she’s been a bad friend. Some might even tag her “abusive”. I went to a women’s conference two weeks ago. The “hot” topic was insecurity. Guess how many women attended the “live via satellite” event? 300,000. That’s right – that many girlfriends were at least secure enough to gather and discuss their insecurities. Yay for us! It’s about time we brought Insecurity’s ugly self out into the open. Beth Moore was the conference speaker and is the author of the new book, “So Long Insecurity: You’ve been a Bad Friend to Us.” I’m reading it right now (research, of course). 😉 She started off the discussion with this question, “When was the last time you met up with Insecurity?” It was a “she had me at hello” moment for me. I had just encountered her. I had just surveyed the auditorium looking over the outfits of all the women within my view. My friend, Ms. Insecurity, needed to see if I was dressed JUST RIGHT. Then, I thought back to the evening before the conference and I had had a moment with Brad where I was questioning my security. Wow. Yikes and I consider myself to be a fairly secure, confident woman. If I had had two run-ins with Ms. Insecurity (that I was aware of) in less than 12 hours, this insecurity thing must be rampant, especially amongst women.
The next point Beth brought that resonated and the reason why I’m writing today was this, “NOTHING GOOD COMES FROM INSECURITY.” I will say it again, “NOTHING GOOD COMES FROM INSECURITY.” Think on this. Ponder it. What comes to mind?
How often do you meet up with her? Is it time to say goodbye? Is it time to let this friendship go? If you’re like me, you are ready. Some of us have already started on the journey to letting go of our insecurities. Letting go of Ms. Insecurity won’t happen over night. It’s a cultural thing. We must tackle it together. Let’s meet. Let’s discuss. Let’s be honest with each other. We will need to be vulnerable. It will take work to truly say goodbye. But let’s do it. Let’s speak the truth. Let’s live in the truth.